Hotel room, Scottsdale, Arizona
June 27th 1999, 7 a.m.
"Scully? Scully?" I was trying to wake my partner up as
possible. "Would you like to go to Sedona today?"
"O.K., all right, fine, Mulder. Mulder?!"
She jerked her eyes open with alarm, realized just where she was
how she had gotten there, then relaxed back down into the cotton
sheets. She muttered "Mulder...," contentedly, pulling herself
closer to my chest. For a brief moment I was afraid she had changed
her mind, decided that she had made the wrong decision last night.
My heart skipped a beat, anxious that she might bolt out of the room
and out of my life. That was my worst fear. At best, I thought she
might lecture me about the ramifications of sleeping with her
partner, and why we had to stop doing so immediately.
I was relieved that neither of these two options would ever occur,
as she purred my name slowly, small, soft hands around my waist.
Even after spending the night in this bed together, making love and
laughing about anything and nothing all night, I was still insecure
enough to fear the worst come morning light. My whole body relaxed,
enveloping her in my arms and asking again, "Hey, Scully want to go
to see some vortexes today?"
"They are vortices, Mulder. Giant magnets of energy -
negatively charged - where the energetic lay lines of the earth's
field converge. I thought we were here to investigate those 1997
"We'll have time later in the week. I was reading about the
'vortices' yesterday at the pool and I'd really like to go up there.
Besides, it's beautiful up there."
"It's always beautiful where new agers think the earth's power
concentrated. Why would they want to make a tourist trap out of an
inner city slum or barren wasteland? You don't really believe in
that hooey, do you now, Mulder?"
"Uh, don't know if I do...I just thought it was worth a
it's such a short drive up there."
"Well, O.K. So long as we stay out of those souvenir shops
those damn crystals, reeking of incense. Melissa dragged me into
those places constantly on the West coast and I'd just as soon stay
out of them."
"Scully, we're not going up there to shop. We're just going to
red rock formations and the sites where people think vortices exist.
Native American tribes thought the land was sacred around there, only
to be used for special rites and ceremonies."
"Well, I still don't think there's much scientific evidence
there's any truth to those "electro-magnetic energy fields" they all
babble about. I think it's just a gorgeous place and that's why
people feel so spiritually transformed by going there. No different
than any other beautiful place, such as Monument Valley or Yosemite."
"Well, Miss Skeptical, I promise we'll avoid all the
faith healers, and tarot card readers we possibly can."
"Good! Now before we leave...do you think you can resume that
rub you started last night and didn't finish?"
"You mean the one you distracted me from, Scully?"
"Yeah, that one. Maybe I can distract your attention again.
didn't seem too worried about it."
I drew her close and kissed her freckled, sunburnt shoulders,
"Nothing's worrying me today, Scully. Nothing at all."
Sedona, downtown traffic jam
Scully glanced over at me as I sat back down in the driver's seat,
having gotten out of the car to see if a wreck lay ahead of us.
"Jeez, Mulder. Traffic isn't this bad in downtown D.C. this
the year. We haven't moved for ten minutes."
"Nine. And talk about missing time. And it's all because of
stalled RV. Why don't we just park this car and rent one of those
Jeeps? Then we can go out on the back roads."
An hour and half later, we arrived at the Medicine Wheel in
"You know Mulder, I hate to burst your bubble, but this
wheel' was not built by Native Americans. I read all about this site
about a year and a half ago. These 'medicine wheels' began showing
up over a decade ago when thousands of New Agers came for the
'Harmonic Convergence,' chanting and meditating to awaken the
energies of Earth."
"I know. I read the same article. The Forest Service rangers
sick of dismantling them. And the New Agers trample archaeological
sites and scatter valuable artifacts all over the place when they
build them. They never prosecute anybody though. Kinda tough when
they can be rebuilt when no one's looking, out here on public land.
I couldn't resist coming up here though. It's really beautiful up
here and I thought you'd like it," I said.
"Well, I do. But I don't think we're going to see any U.F.O.s
I put my arms around her from behind, leaning over and saying,
"There's a full moon tomorrow night..."
"Oh goody, we can go werewolf hunting."
I bit her neck gently and said, "You never know where the wolf
be hiding in the meantime..."
She rotated in my arms so she could see me, curling her arms
the waistband of my jeans. "You know we really haven't talked about
us, have we?" Her face was so sweet and earnest that I felt no alarm
at her inquiry. One vague, all-encompassing question, inspiring one
hell of a long, involved, complicated conversation. One that would
take the rest of our lives to complete. I kissed her full lips and
took her hand, guiding her to take a seat on some large boulders near
the forest's edge.
I turned to face her, holding her hand and came straight to the
point. " I'm never letting you get away from me again, Scully.
There's no escape." I kissed her hand softly, as her face turned
rosy with shy embarrassment.
"You never lost me, Mulder."
"I thought I did. In February. At the Lone Gunmen's place.
haven't been very smooth till just a little while ago. You
know...between us. I don't know why I was so contrary to your
wishes. I didn't want to believe in Diana's disloyalty. I didn't
want to hurt you. I guess I thought you were strong enough to
withstand whatever threat she poised to us. I know now that no one
should ever have to be tested like that. For no other reason than my
arrogant pigheadedness. I just couldn't imagine that a person I'd
been so close to at one time could be so soulless, could sell out
like that. She must have had her reasons, but right now I can't
imagine many good ones."
"Mulder...I don't care about that now. I'm just glad you see
events, people, differently. I never wanted you to think that I was
jealous. It was so petty, so juvenile. It was just one more reason
I concealed my feelings for you." She turned away shyly, still a
little overcome by such a revelation, despite our new closeness.
She continued in a few beats, swiveling back to confront me
directly, "Her arrival last year felt so odd, out of sync.
Calculated somehow, by either her or her cronies. I felt you
slipping away as a friend, as a partner. You seemed more comfortable
with her beliefs than my abilities to challenge and oftentimes
support yours. And maybe yes, I was jealous. But I had no claim on
you, nor had I revealed my feelings for you...and then you tried to
make me stay when I wanted to resign..."
"But you stayed."
"How could I not?"
I pulled her over to my lap, silently imploring her, asking that
let some of those tears welling up in her beautiful blue eyes fall
upon my shoulders. I wanted to absorb some of her pain, pleasure,
happiness, relief, whatever it was she was crying about. I cried
along with her, squeezing her small body closer, trying to envelop
her with my love. If anybody had been around, we would have made
quite a sight. Uninhibitedly weeping, seated on the perimeter of the
Medicine Wheel, on such a pleasant day, with such a splendid view of
I knew they were joyful tears; we weren't mourning the passing of
our relationship, it was just transforming itself into something
stronger, with more conviction. She accepted my way too late
explanation of my impossible attitude that day. I was lucky that she
was still around to explain anything to.
We sat like that for a long time. As I held the most important
thing in my life close, kissing away her salty tears, I couldn't help
but think that maybe the Medicine Wheel did hold some power after
all, energizing our hearts, giving us all the strength we needed to
go on. But there was no need to tell Scully that. She already knew.
Please send feedback to: firstname.lastname@example.org